As I have grown through the years I have learned that I am a make up of my surroundings. These elements include; how I was raised, education, religion, my personal experience and relationships. Roll that into one big life burrito and there you have it, me.  It is important to put all of these under the scrutiny of a microscope.

One way to do this is to write down all of your life stories that have really made a significant impact in your life. Then look for common words that appear though out the text. Combine those words into a master list and study them. What pops out at you about those words? What similar themes and patterns emerge? This is a great way to find out who you are. This is your brand.

Use your brand to your advantage, as it will help you relate back to what your purpose and passions are in life.  When you have purpose and passion, you will feel as if you have a tail wind gently lifting you up and pushing you forward.Who

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What can I say? When you think of the word “Cancer” there isn’t another word in the English language that congers up as much fear. As a survivor I had a range of emotions that I had never met before. Bryant my boyfriend rode the emotional rollercoaster like an experienced coaster test pilot.

I have been asked to say a few words about the people that have stood by us throughout this journey which is a tough endeavor to say the least. Some won’t be lucky enough to ever have the support of a person that is so selfless. We all feel so lucky to have the strength and courage of the people that have been there for us throughout this journey. I can’t put a price on the way that Bryant made me laugh countless times throughout the treatment.

He stood by me and continues to offer unyielding support. I know that we all feel lucky today to have people in our lives that are such fighters. Fighters that have our back no matter what…..It is a privilege to honor you tonight.

In the beginning of the program he hovered over my desk and proceeded to ask the question, “Who are you Genae”. Gulp, I had no idea what he was talking about. Was I supposed to give a dissertation on my chronological childhood? Was I supposed to give a typical canned philosophical answer that answered a question with a question? I was stumped.

Going through my treatments I arrived at some similar questions. I began to feel as if I was losing my identity due to weight gain, loss of hair, eyebrows and body parts. After treatment I wondered, “Who are you Genae”?  Pondering that question I turned to my arsenal of marketing and creative skills.  I decided to write down all of the stories in my life that made a difference. They were not necessarily happy or tragic. They were stories that shaped me in one way or another.

As I finished this process, I went through and circled the common themes throughout.  These common themes were my Genae blueprint. They reflected my uniqueness and my quirky personality traits. To my delight the process allowed me to reunite with my gifts, talents and passions. Like an emergency ladder, it pulled me out of the treatment pit and allowed me to regain my relationship with myself.  Score: Genae-1, Cancer-0.

When you get diagnosed with cancer, insurance is like a safety net while you are walking along the treatment tightrope.  Loose it and you just might end up in the “high risk pool” swimming with the sharks.

I respect this lady for trying something new. She is backed into a corner unable to find a way out.  She is looking out for her own wellbeing. Going on line to find a husband? Why not? Russian women do it all the time. Young desperate women take sultry pictures and post them in the web directory hoping for US citizenship. Meanwhile on looking Caucasian men try to figure out what time zone the women are in to capture the attention of Svetlana.

Terri Carlson of California, I applaud your creativity. You got our attention through a simple but well thought out plan.   You have captured the hearts of politicians, patients and me.  May your ceremony consist of a signature on that premium insurance document’s bottom line and healthy life for you and your children.

The below is a great resource for working women and cancer.

http://www.cancerandcareers.org

See Terri’s story on You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/decoro4#p/a/u/2/egA3PkHj4Xw

Three months later my alien invasion (cancer) entered the equation.  I weighed all of the pros and cons of dating someone while going through treatment.  As the con column grew, the pro column looked like a winter swimming pool, empty and full of debris.

I decided to let him back out gracefully and with dignity in tact. I took him to lunch and told him that I thought it would be best if we called it quits. When I was finished with treatment, if we both wanted to we could resume dating. He said, “okay”. I said, “okay”. Then he looked at me and said, “No, I’m just testing you. I wanted to see how you really felt by reading your eyes.” He proceeded to tell me that he wanted to go through treatment with me and support me during the treatment.

Here is where the Catch-22 part comes in to play. When you as a woman start to go through the debilitating process of going to war with your cancer, you grow weak. Man’s role goes from the “hunter” in which he was courting you and showing you how much he is interested in you, to “caregiver”. During this process the woman chemo patient is losing her hair, gaining weight, getting pale and lets not even broach the topic of hormones. We feel so bad about ourselves that all we really want is a man to be attracted to us and reassure us that we are still desired.  Man’s instinct is to take care of us and protect the woman going through the treatment.

The solution? There is not an easy one wrapped with a pretty bow. It is messy like finger painting. For me, I couldn’t pin point what was bugging me without many nights of self-reflection. When I figured out that the lack of being desired was hurting our relationship, I decided that we would need to raise our quantity and level of communication. Through many conversations we were able to air our sides of the story and reach level ground.

I often color with my boyfriends kids. I laugh as I look at the names of the colors that exist in that “Box of 64 with Built in Sharpener”, I wonder what type of person might be responsible for these creative names. Some of the ugliest colors including: Olive Green, Apricot and Tumbleweed could have been left out all together. Some of the prettiest colors including Pacific Blue and plum are usually worn down first.

What I would like to submit to you is that naming crayons and paint colors is the perfect job for chemo patients. Just think about it. When you are sitting in the chair:

-You have no where to go for 2-4 hours

-Many times you are on a Benadryl drip, and lets face it many of us get pretty loopy, so creative juices flow

-There is often a fight for what to watch on TV. The 60 year olds want Price is Right, while the younger people prefer Ellen-so why not provide an alternative activity

So to Crayola, Sherman Williams and Kelly Moore; create a job, expand your color success….hire a chemo patient.

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As some of you know, Bryant and I saved a furry life by adopting a rescue lab puppy. AKA sock monster. Colby Jack (like the cheese) is smarter than a 6th grader and has the energy to match. He is 8 months old and apparently the previous owner lost his job and let him roam the streets. We already have two female yellow labs and are familiar with the responsibility that it was going to drain from our energy reserves. Thank God for crate training, a dog door and two educated sisters. He is well on his way to knowing the rules. The final test is relieving his mouth of the cotton apparel us folks call “SOCKS”.